I tell my mother about 99.999% of the things that happen in my life, even if she doesn't want to hear them! So really, I should expect her to interfere sometimes shouldn't I? In saying that, I should actually be prepared when it happens and just roll with it! However, she still has a way of catching me off. So begins the tale of my February 15th!
Occasionally my mother will feel the need to set me up on a date. I don't fight it. It simply will do no good as if I do, I will spend the next year getting little disappointed hints about it. I understand why she does it, I am a 37 year old man raising a son by myself. Its not her or even my fault that my marriage ended due to infidelity on my x wife's part. That's right, you read that correctly. I do not have many deal breaking "peeves" I will call them, but cheating is one. I have cheated on girlfriends in the past, but then I graduated high school and went into the real world.
I digress, this is not the time for my opinions on life, but instead the amazing story of how my 65 year old mother, can still shock me.
Around Christmas time last year my mother started dropping hints. To me, hints are about guilt, so unless I have done something wrong, I ignore them. I have told her several times that if she wants something from me, just ask! That's how guys work. After New Years, she finally did. She told me all about this very attractive red head that she knew. Her name is Brenda (not really). Brenda is 34, 5 foot and 10 freaking inches tall! LOVE IT! I am 6'3" and am attracted to tall women. It not like its my thing, and I only date tall women, I just like to when I can.
Also, I should take a second to explain that I don't really date a lot myself. Its hard to with a 15 year old son. I do not want him to think women are anything but people, capable of being his equal in every way. Needless to say, he has not met 1 woman that I have dated.
Brenda was married once, but has no children. She is a technical project manager for a airline. She owns her house, has a dog, and a college education from Ohio State. If I was keeping score, which I was, she was so far an 8.5, (I deducted half a point for Ohio State, and no one whom you have not met is a 10). I fake-grudgingly told my mother I would give her a call.
For one reason or another, though we spoke and emailed, we did not get to set anything up until this week. Not wanting to set any expectations, and being a little adverse to V day, on Sunday, I planned and made reservations for the 15th. My plan was to take her to this dinner and a movie place. They have very good food, and you can drink, eat, and even converse since the movie is not a current one. I ran through all my normal predate things.
Flowers, not roses - check
Outfit to dry cleaners - check
Haircut - check
Shave, so I have the rugged scruff - check
clean truck because its still a bit cold for a passenger on my bike - check
I had agreed that I would pick her up at 6:30, as our tickets were for 7:15. It would give us a little time to adjust to actually seeing each other, and make polite conversation. Things I always avoid on dates are conversation about politics and religion, the given, but also past relationships and family. I would rather not sit through an awkward moment while she details how she lost her true love, or experienced a death in her family. Anyway, on to date night.
The 15th finally arrived. I was so excited I could not even concentrate at work. Not that my job takes much unless there is an emergency, I am a network engineer. I will skip over the date details, but I will say that I had a great time, I will tell you about Brenda.
Brenda is not only beautiful, but she is witty, intelligent, a little bit of a geek, and she is tall. Did I mention she was tall? She loved to laugh, and doesn't mind making fun of herself, or the person she is with. She had curves in the right places, and was neither a stick, nor over weight. Her hair was very long and I think there was a bit of a curl that she tried to get rid of. She dressed as casually as I did, and did not look uncomfortable in what she was wearing. She also some how conveyed that she would be comfortable in jeans and a tshirt, digging in the dirt, or wearing a cocktail dress drinking wine. She ordered a local beer, and ate a steak!
By the time the date was over, I was convinced that she was a 9.5, (still not giving her the Ohio State deal). I dropped her off at her house and walked her to her door. I left with giving her a small kiss on the cheek and a wave as I drove off.
Why am I not beating down her door today you ask? Well, that is because of a conversation I had with my mother as I drove home....
You see, Brenda, is my cousin!
WTF mom! We are not from Arkansas. Though, Brenda is a second cousin, I am still a bit confused on what to think. I am not sure she is ware of the connection, as her mother could have done the same thing mine did... I should have known. At this point, I am still to shell shocked to talk to her, but I feel I need to find out if she knows, and if not at least tell her! Is it weird that I still want to see her?
Sorting through this one is going to make my damn therapist rich!
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