Life is so awesome most of the time. I am constantly amazed at the sheer enormity of the world. We go from these little helpless babies, to these adolescent know-it-alls, to the indestructible 20 somethings, to the rational conservatives, then back to the helpless people we came into the world as.
When I turned 30, I never thought much about it. I have a baby face and still to this day get carded everywhere, and I mean everywhere, I go. However, something happens at 35. I think I finally started realizing that I am not a young, or even a mid 30 year old. It was almost like I changed over night, though again, I didn't give it any thought as to why. One day I was at a bar until 4 am and up at 6 still drunk but ready to do what needed to be done, the next I was regretting that I stayed until 2 and had to get up at 10. Its not like I am some bar rat or even a big party animal, but I did go out to bars and stuff. Amusingly enough, I never changed any of the normal day to day/night to night things I did. Even when my marriage ended, I never did anything differently.
At 37, the only break in my nightly routine, is when I am dating someone. Even that has limitations though. Most girls around my age that are even worth dating, want to rush rush rush. However, thats just not who I am. I am always up front about it, and never lead people on. I do make mistakes, as I am not perfect, but for the most part, I try to be a nice guy and keep my shit together. I go very far out of my way to avoid big drama, and will tell anyone what I am thinking or feeling straight. Every once in a while however, no matter what precautions I try to take, I get fooled.
Norma is a 5'2", half Japanese, half Caucasian stimulating woman. She work in the same field as I do, Information Technology, and so I know she has it together. I met her at work, though she left employment with my company and went to another soon after we first started getting to know each other. Though she knew a lot of people in my company, and some who could make it a real pain to work there if they wanted, she seemed level headed and much to intelligent for anything malicious. I should have known things were weird with her when she gave me the "I am an independent woman" speech.
I am not saying there is anything wrong with saying that, but my Uncle once told me, when someone goes out of there way to tell you something about themselves, you should probably be wary of it. That is exactly what Norma did. From the heights of mount Kilimanjaro, she roared it out to me. My warning bells must have been dulled by the alcohol though as I stayed on that roller coaster for 4 months. From the first date, I try to let people know that my availability is challenging. I have a teenage son, whom needs a damn roll model for a father, not a damn hippster. Norma just did not get it. After 4 short months of dating, Norma broke the golden rule... she told me she loved me and needed me in her life.
In the end, I had to break it off with her. Though I did have some great times with her, and she is a great person, it seemed that her proclamation of independence did not stretch to me. I am not anti love, or even against commitment, but after so short a time, I can not begin to describe how scary love is....
Which brings me to this blog of today. This relationship ended before Christmas, so why the blog now? Because after a couple months of begging her to just let me swing by to grab a couple things I left at her house, my favorite jacket and a pair of running shoes, she did something that was so classless that I have no idea how to respond. She put them in a box, I am not sure she didn't soak them in her toilet first, wrote all over the box about what kind of person she thought I was, and sent the box to my place of employment with no return address...!
REALLY?
Luckily, the person that received the package, is a friend of mine and she quickly let me know. I guess in the end, Norma showed me how truly independent she is.
No comments:
Post a Comment